33. Tom DeLay

Because of his political style, Tom long ago earned the nickname:

a) "Hammer."

b) "Saw."

c) "Universal Clamp."

d) "Six-Inch Punch."

e) "Power Screw Gun."

f) "Portable Stud-Finder."

In 2006, Tom:

a) Petitioned a judge to restore his gun license, which was suspended under Texas law when he was indicted for a felony.

b) Killed two guards while escaping from a maximum security penitentiary.

c) Detonated a suitcase nuke in a Los Angeles suburb.

Among the courtesies Tom allegedly received from lobbyists were:

a) Paid golfing holidays to Scotland, concert tickets, and the use of luxury skyboxes for fundraisers.

b) $3.5 million for a book detailing he might have killed Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman, had he done it.

c) A mysterious black puzzle box that grants its owners great power but condemns them to the darkest agonies of Hell.


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