33. Tom DeLay
Because of his political style, Tom long ago earned the nickname:
c) "Universal Clamp."
d) "Six-Inch Punch."
e) "Power Screw Gun."
f) "Portable Stud-Finder."
In 2006, Tom:
a) Petitioned a judge to restore his gun license, which was suspended under Texas law when he was indicted for a felony.
b) Killed two guards while escaping from a maximum security penitentiary.
c) Detonated a suitcase nuke in a Los Angeles suburb.
Among the courtesies Tom allegedly received from lobbyists were:
a) Paid golfing holidays to Scotland, concert tickets, and the use of luxury skyboxes for fundraisers.
b) $3.5 million for a book detailing he might have killed Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman, had he done it.
c) A mysterious black puzzle box that grants its owners great power but condemns them to the darkest agonies of Hell.