CULTURAL LEARNINGS FOR MAKE BENEFIT GLORIOUS NATION OF AMERICA
22. (Tie) Bill O'Reilly
Bill has made it quite clear that he is damn sick and tired of:
a) Al Franken, Michael Savage, George Clooney, Jon Stewart, Keith Olbermann, David Letterman, Neal Boortz, Michael Kinsley, Bill Mahar, Mark Libbon and Ludacris.
b) NPR, Terry Gross, Bill Moyers, Tucker Carlson, NBC, MSNBC, ABC, CBS, The New York Times, The Daily News, The Corporation For Public Broadcasting, your local PBS station and Viewers Like You.
c) Andrea Macris, O.J. Simpson, Hollywood, AHOY, reporters, college professors, college students, colleges, pickers, grinners, lovers, sinners, jokers, smokers, midnight tokers, people who call him "the Space Cowboy," and people who call him "Maurice," 'cause he speaks for the pompatus of love.
d) All of the above.
On the radio last year, Bill told one disrespectful caller:
a) "When you call us, ladies and gentleman, just so you know, we do have your phone number. And if you say anything untoward, obscene, or anything like that, Fox security will then contact your local authorities, and you will be held accountable."
b) "So anyway I'd be rubbing your big boobs and getting your nipples really hard, kinda' kissing your neck from behind...and then I would take the other hand with the falafel thing and I'd just put it on your p***y but you'd have to do it really light, just kind of a tease business."
c) "If the Americans go in and overthrow Saddam Hussein and it's clean, he has nothing, I will apologize to the nation, and I will not trust the Bush Administration again, all right?"