THE SHOOTIST
3. Dick Cheney

chney_rocks
To avoid serving in the Vietnam War, Dick:

a) Applied for and received five deferments.

b) Lined his butt with peanut butter before his Army physical.

c) Noted that, as a devout Quaker, he is morally and philosophically opposed to all war.

d) Told Army psychiatrists he feared his future daughter would be gay.

Dick in 2006 described the near death of his friend, Harry Whittington, this way:

a) "The image of him falling is something I'll never be able to get out of my mind. I fired, and there's Harry falling. And it was, I'd have to say, one of the worst days of my life, at that moment."

b) "A little blood. A little pain. Nothing to write home about. Hell, I'm not running for office again. What's he gonna do, not vote for me?"

c) "It wasn't my kill shot. If I'd used my kill shot, he wouldn't be talking about it now."

d) "Immediately, he started apologizing. At first, I wanted none of it. But as the extent of his injuries became clear, I started to feel sorry for him. I motioned for the doctor, even though I knew it meant the press would soon be making a big stink. But that's me. Helping him was just the right thing to do."

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