13. (Tie) Vladimir Putin

Before contracting fatal radiation poisoning under suspicious circumstances, former spy Alexander Litvinenko accused Vladimir of:

a) Pedophilia

b) Ascending to high office in a secret coup d'etat.

c) Racketeering.

d) Assassination.

e) All of the above.

Vladimir's wife, Russian First Lady Lyudmilla Shkrebneva Putin, is a former:

a) Flight attendant.

b) Star of the 2003 FOX hit reality series The Simple Life, in which she lived with a family on their farm in rural Altus, Arkansas.

c) Carolina Panthers cheerleader, until her arrest for having sex with another cheerleader in a tavern's bathroom stall.

d) Murderous head of the Russian counterintelligence department SMERSH, known for the Polonium-squirting blade that sprung from the toes from her heavy brown boots.

In 2006, Vladimir reportedly said of Israel Prime Minister Ehud Olmert:

a) "Quite a mighty man. He raped 10 women. I never expected it from him. He surprised all of us. We all envy him."

b) "He's never talks/Has a cock in the box."

c) "I'm telling you, nobody at his age hits that many home runs without help from a friendly needle."

d) "We will strike at Ehud Olmert through his friends at the Daily Planet!"


Anonymous bubba g. russo said...

How could we forget Vlad ("the Impaler") Putin? G.W. Bush said he trusted him because he "shoots from the hip." What better endorsement could any AHOY candidate ask for?

7:38 AM  

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